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DISCUSSION FORUM
showing all archived messages from April 2006:
| slumlord from IP address 69.161.64.170 writes: | | | Damn, I got so caught up in the story that I forgot to mention this:
We all live in our white trash family,
white trash family, white trash family
We all live in our white trash family,
white trash family, white trash family
Tis the life that we live, in our white trash family. Sigh...
| | posted 4/29/2006 11:50:46 PM |
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| slumlord from IP address 69.161.64.170 writes: | | | So today I'm mowing the grass at my rental house. Everything is hunky-dory. The sun is shining and providing me with the skin color needed to be officially described as a "RED-neck". My short-sleeve shirt and cut-off jeans are bound to provide me the farmers tan I've been dreaming of since the last solstice. I just bought a cap for the bed of the truck and it adds a certain flair that only a nascar fan would recognize.
Anyway, I'm stuffing the asbestos that fell off the siding of my house into a paper bag so I can hide it in the garbage. I learned a long time ago that a substance is only toxic if you openly display it. Next door the neighbors are holding a cookout, if you consider a cookout to be five adults loudly arguing over the best way to start a fire on their driveway. They had assembled a collage of burnable materials, including sticks from their yard, newspaper, carpeting, a few shingles that had fallen off of their shithole, and a piece of fencing they took from my tenents yard. In the interests of quality entertainment I grabbed another beer and found a seat to watch the expected boondoggle.
The first attempt to start the fire was amateurish. The standard practice of a newspaper under a few sticks, with the carpet payoff proved unsuccessful. A satanic spawn of one of the adults thought he had the answer. He fired a bottle rocket into the cluster-fuck of wasteland now known as a fire-pit. Of course it didn't work, but everybody got a good kick out of it, including me. Finally one of the adults took the bull by the horns and got that rascally fire lit. Apparently a little kerosene goes a long way, but A LOT will get your eyebrows waxed. I'm proud to report they finally got their driveway fire lit after lighting enough kerosene to propel an airplane from JFK to LHR. I have my rental property insured for twice the value, so I was hoping for some collateral damage, but it didn't happen.
About 15 minutes into their carpet-smoked hotdog festival one of the "adults" comes to the conclusion that they are out of beer. I wasn't privy to the chatter, but it seemed the problem had to be solved immediately, and nobody was fit to get into their Ford F-150 to drive two blocks. The guy who had the kerosene brainstorm instantly jumped on a Schwinn and started peddling. One of the satanic spawns ran down the driveway cursing the man who had just hijacked his bicycle. The satanic spawn's objection would not go unpunished. An "adult" of the driveway-fire group vocally provided many reasons why the satanic spawn should have never been born. Paraprase - "You're 16 fucking years old and you still ride a bicycle. What the fuck is your problem. Get a fucking job so you can buy a car!". Now, I can only imagine the car the poor spawn would buy if he had a job, probably a '92 Dodge Neon with a shoddy paint job, cheap aluminum rims, tinted windows, and a sporty spoiler just to make sure the back-end of his car doesn't leave the ground when cruising at 35 mph, but is that any way for an "adult" to treat a kid?
So I'm looking for suggestions to get rid of this neighbor. In the next couple of years I intend to sell the house and I don't need a bunch of people who think kerosene is the best way to start a fire living next to my property. I was thinking of arranging an improptu bulldozer to simply remove their house from the face of the earth. Obviously I would provide some type of warning prior to the demolition, like tear-gas thru their windows at 3 AM.
Suggestions? Thoughts?
| | posted 4/29/2006 11:39:52 PM |
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| Ryan from IP address 12.31.21.15 writes: | | | Unless I ride the scooter, or sell a kidney to pay for the gasoline to drive the truck, a trip to Black Mountain is probably not imminent.
Did the closing go smoothly? | | posted 4/27/2006 8:39:55 AM |
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| Q from micronesia writes: | | | OURfest seems to be hisfest, as were we not invited back. Maybe it was all that maniacal screaming I did on mic to wake everyone up for our set at 1 in the morning. Who knows? Y'all should blow that shit off and come down to see the LOWdOGS in Black mountain instead. I'll be moved into the new digs, life'll be good. Congrats on the napalm depository aquisition. Well done. I close tomorrow morning. yikes. | | posted 4/26/2006 4:54:16 PM |
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| Prize Wanker from near Love Canal writes: | | | What's this talk of OUR Fest? Did the Grand Jew send you an invitation to play? I hope so. You guys would add a little variation to the 37 different arrangements Clambake/SOMS.
PS. Q, I just signed the contract to a house in Whack-a-mole, NY today ;)
| | posted 4/26/2006 2:55:02 PM |
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| Dr. Bubba from Wernersville St Hospital writes: | | | Hmmm...that doesn't sound like Bill and Kara to me at all...unless you're talking about those no-account whermans...con-sarn it...(my favorite chili is consarnit style, for those you of who don't know what to get me this fathers day...)
so i heard the explosion blew your hair clean off...heard it as far as spruce pine they did...chunks of 'hippie head' fallin' all around hendersonville, i reckon....Lighty said there was a light in the southern sky but he had just clunked his head on a pipe bev was holding too close to his meat-locker head...dagg-nabbit...(which, by the way, is a virginia delicacy....pan-fried dagnabbit)
so put that in your corn cob pipe and light you hair on fire...so are we playing OUR fest or emoryboard fest or anyplace else we can give that crack head more of a nervous twitch?
I'm just askin' is all...
for all those easlily bored or just plain interested, i've posted three tracks from our appearance at OUR fest last year on our myspace site - http://myspace.com/lowdogs
plus i put "Doubt Love" from the album up there and i think you can download all of them if'n you give two shits about such things..
i wonder if Big Blue has a myspace place? it's free, and then anyone from outside the asheville area without a frontallabotomy or bottleinfrontofthem could hear the melifluous tunes that I'm sure are created so very far away....with the explosions...
ps-last night in Reading, Pa a guy comes up to me and said "Hey, i saw you play before-it was real late at a camp thing on a hill and the guy you were playing with had a giant tin-foil hat on for some reason..."
...salad days, my friend, salad days..
PSs-LOWdOGS at the Town Pump/Black Mounatin, NC 6/19/06 | | posted 4/22/2006 9:39:27 AM |
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| Charlie Pissfoot from canton, nc writes: | | | Charlie Pissfoot says "happy 420". Charlie Pissfoot says "woof". | | posted 4/20/2006 6:33:18 PM |
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| Q from micronesia writes: | | | Damn right I'm blowing up. Blowing up like crazy yo. As far as the web presence, you got me. I just work there. There are tapes off the Orange Peel, but I don't know who has them. A certain couple who shall remain nameless (initials B and K, last name Wehrman) never showed up that night after being sidetracked by a bottle of something. I'm working on it though. Psyched for y'all to come down. | | posted 4/20/2006 9:29:27 AM |
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| Dr. Bubba from Wernersville St Hospital writes: | | | I've been told it was your pants...someone also said it was your hair burning off...where's the big blue website? and where's the big blue download...seems to me even this fourth-rate stupid folk duo even had their web presence shit together better than this big-time rock band...with it's blowing up bass player... | | posted 4/20/2006 9:15:09 AM |
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| Q from micronesia writes: | | | For those who made it out to the Big BLue show at the Orange Peel last night, all that smoke on stage left was NOT coming from my brain trying to remember songs. It was coming from my now dead and blown Iamp. If anyone happens to have an ultra hi-fi, 1000 watt, lightweight bass amp lying around I'd love to talk to you. CQ | | posted 4/16/2006 12:33:37 PM |
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| Q from Micronesia writes: | | | Sorry folks, radio show postponed till next week. I'll let ya know. | | posted 4/7/2006 9:57:04 AM |
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| Q from Micronesia writes: | | | Howdy folks, for those who'll be around a computer Friday, BigBlue will be on WNCW at 3 pm for an in studio performance or whatever. It's sort of a prelude to our first Orange Peel gig on the 15th. So, tune in. word. | | posted 4/5/2006 10:21:06 AM |
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| Dr. Bubba from Wernersville St. Hospital writes: | | | and thank you...i miss jaco and his water digging, rock barking ways... | | posted 4/2/2006 4:23:28 PM |
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| Dr. Bubba from Wernersville St. Hospital writes: | | | Q-
seriously, there's no seeders on the Big Blue Torrent...you got another download place or do i need to make you send me a copy? | | posted 4/2/2006 4:22:36 PM |
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| Q from Micronesia writes: | | | Yeah, actually he did, he was on the floor next to the speakers. It was pretty funny to tell you the truth. Well done. | | posted 4/2/2006 12:23:08 PM |
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| Dr. Bubba from Wernersville St. Hospital writes: | | | Thanks for the note during the show last night, my friend...did jaco hear me? | | posted 4/2/2006 11:05:09 AM |
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